of nothing in particular

#Warning! long post ahead!

Hello loyal readers. Please stand up and wave now because you have a new (virtual) friend. I recently gave my blog url to someone i just met, and wah he actually went to read dated entries. Which made me look back at my earlier entries. Which sparked off this blog entry. I was so damn childish in the past. Like some teenage-bopper thing hai. But i guess everyone was angsty and childish once lah right? That's the only thing i can comfort myself with now. :/

Reading my old posts, i also observed that i used to be funnier, more honest, and more full of vitality to overcome the odds in my life. That side of me, i hope i can recover.

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The past two days have been exhausting, so today i managed to catch some me-time after leaving school early. I took a bus and just did not alight at my stop. Music blasting, i considered and thought. Now, after the whole thinking and feeling process, i am finally at peace with myself once again. =)

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Internship. How has it been so far? Hmm i actually feel that things are getting a little stagnant. I mean, yes lesson observations and all. But...i actually feel like a research student more than a teacher on internship. Granted, i should lower my expectations cus hey, it's only the 3rd day today right. Yes right okay so i shall stop feeling sian.

To curb my sianness in school, i have come up with a few strategies to make the most out of this internship. Firstly, because i am only following the classes of a Literature teacher, i will only observe lit classes and 2 GP lessons per week. Truth is, i am also interested in PW and History classes. So, i have decided to go around and ask the respective teachers if i can just sit in for their classes. Heh heh heh. Even if it means shorter breaks or no breaks. I don't wanna waste the time there.

Next, i realised that some of the (esp female) teachers are quite... Unfriendly? My sister says the best way to tackle this is to smile at them and make them paiseh so they'll smile back. Today i tried. For the most part, it worked. But this particular teacher, wow i smiled at her and she just gave me a blank face and looked away. Ouch! But never mind i shall try again next time! Meanwhile i have decided, if the full-time teachers are not going to strike conversations with me, i will chat them up! Then slowly i'd be more acquainted with the staff in the staffroom. Yipee!

Today, oh, Jing Jing was at my cubicle talking to me. I was looking left at her. After some time i felt very strange on my right so i turned. And got a shock. This young male teacher (whom i admit i don rem seeing ever before) was leaning on the wall of my cubicle and resting this chin on the mantle, looking at us. Wtf hahaha. He then stared at my notebook and asked "is that a comic?" lol. Yes so we started talking and all. I found out that he's a young contract teacher who complains about selling his soul to the government, and that he is soooooo sleepy haha but he really is a passionate teacher. When he had to go off, he said "wish me luck, i really need it" because he was going for consultation with a few weaker students. After some time, i walked out of the staffroom for lunch, and walked past the bench he was at with his students. Looking at the way he teaches, i really cannot believe he was the funny and very nice guy i just spoke to in the staffroom. If one thing surprises me, it is the fact that friendly, funny people my age (or maybe a few years older) can command so much respect from students. And the confidence they exude when teaching, is something amazing. I am so inspired. One day, if i do go into teaching, i hope to be like this too.

After lecture today some students walked up to me and asked questions like "Miss Tan, can i see your pencil case? It's very cute!" or "Miss Tan, how old are you?" and i managed a short conversation with them. Really polite and nice kids. Okay not kids anymore. =)

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I witnessed an act of kindness today. For those of you who know, along the road to Causeway Point and Woodlands mrt there s actually this bus lane thing that leads to the understand bus intercharge right? So no cars are allowed in otherwise very malu you have to drive into the bus interchange and endure weird stares. So today on the bus, i saw a blue Honda Jazz enter that lane. I think the sriver wanted to turn left and she thought it is okay to turn there. But after the entered that bend she realised the grave error, so she desperately tried to reverse and steer the car back to the lane going straight. But the cars behind weren't aware so they kept up their speed. Hence that poor car could not reverse out of the bend. Then viola! This uncle walked behind the poor car, put out a hand to warn/stop oncoming vehicles,and gestured to the driver that it was safe to reverse. Wow damn nice! I smiled after i saw it! So kind of him! Hero!

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Went to visit my grandma today. Though i still largely cant hear her, though i had to wear a mask throughout (H1N1 preventive measure), she held my hands and called my name. I told her i just started trying out being a teacher, and the look of pride in her eyes surfaced. We chatted a little, with her trying her best to speak up while i tried my best to dicipher her words by guessing. It was like playing charades haha. I realised, i walk very fast, live a fast-paced life, but whenever i enter the nursing home and reach her bed, things become so slow they almost come to a standstill. I have to adjust my pace for her before her world revolves slowly. I really missed her, so i am glad i went to see her today. Her being her, after an hour, she saw that i was tired and told me to come home to nap. Ah ma will always be ah ma. =)

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Something more light-hearted! I recently bought a new long skirt. For those of you who know me, i don't wear long skirts HAHA but i;ve decided to try since i don't like to wear pants and i cant be wearing a dres everyday right. (Because i do not have that many decent dresses) So yes, my mom went shopping and bought me one blue knee length skirt and i bought myself another below knee-length layered long skirt. I think it's damn pretty but my mom thinks otherwise.Oh well. So i kinda threw it in my wardrobe and forgot about it. Until this morning, i was running late and i saw it so i guess paired it with a simple top before running to my bus stop.

I thought i looked funny since we all know rushed choiceof outfits is unwise. But 4 people commented on my skirt today OH YES! They say it's very pretty!!!!! Eggcited because my whole family says it's ugly. *wrings hand in despair*

When i bought a drink at Causeway Point, the lady at the cashier said to me: " 你的裙很好看". Hur hur. MOMMY ARE YOU READING THIS!?

Yeah Jing Jing asked me if this dress can be worn as a tube dress. So i came home,took off my top and pulled the skirt up. Yes it can be worn as a tube dress too. A little too short for school but okay for going out! Add a waist belt and i can conquer the world! Yay happy with my buy!

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I would like to continue but my bed looks very inviting at the moment.
Nap time!