off to Shanghaiii

Hello there.

I'm so sorry for the lapse. Been too busy settling some issues. I only had time to meet one friend. Really sorry to Chuanmin, Pris, Buddypan too. Yes it's the family saga all over again. All because of this trip to Shanghai. Suck.

Sucksucksuck. Did i mention i hate my family half the time? It's like extremism. Sometimes i really hate my family, not the members, more of the stupid silly sandwiched position i always end up in. It's difficult having to struggle two families, if you know what i mean. I've always wished for just a simple family. So far my wish hasn't been granted. Too complicated, too much deceit required to keep the family going, but then again the deceit tire us all out. i wonder why we all bother. Aww i wanna just walk out of it all. i need my insanity please.

Just one simple trip. Since i have to go no matter what, i just hope things would go smoothly and i will at least have an okay time. No, got it wrong. Even before the trip, something bad happens. Suck. I dont care. Lester's right. I always blame myself and feel guilty for something that's not my fault. This has to change. I'm gonna learn not to feel responsible for things that werent even caused by me. Like last night...What could i have done to make things better? Absolutely nothing. So forget it.

I decided. It's my life. I'm using my money anyway. Mommy, uncle, Daddy, whatever.It's my life, i'm just going to do whatever i want to. I cant life my life for them. I dont wanna be their puppet while i try to make up for lost time, because at the end of it all, i believe i will walk away. or they will leave. i don wanna start my life then. i wanna start my life now. right now. as in have my own life. Possibly without them. very much so. yup.

Okay many ppl say that I haven inform them i'm going overseas. Err den i shall announce here.
I'm flying to Shanghai. 16th-20th July. My phone has autoroam so i'm contactable. But contact me only if there's a need to hor. Expensive lehh. I'm too broke for expensive bills. Lol.

Yeapp. Till then.
Take care everyone.