no words to describe it all

Many thanks to Sharon and Jean, for helping me out with my cannot-make-it HL104 essay today. honestly, if it weren't for them, i don't know how i'll get through school. hmmms. heartfelt gratitude. (:

It's finally friday. the week has been toiling. wad's new? i need to review my study methods. i need to let inspiration flow faster, and earlier. not only RIGHT BEFORE the deadline. but i love the flexibility of the time-table and lessons. bwhahaha. my tut mates will get wad i mean. more assignments are piled up. i just found out next week's not the last week of lessons. it's up to the individual lecturers and tutors to decide. if they wish, we may have lessons all e way till the week b4 exams. oh crap.

i miss many people. too much to list. too much unspoken words left unsaid. too much concern held back. certain things are just not right anymore. and for others, it's the time factor. i really wish i could have spent more time with each and every one of you. to meet chuanmin for dinner. xiang and ling for stayover sessions. pris/sharlot to club. the cousin gatherings. many many more. but these days, i'm either working on assignments or trying to catch up on sleep. plus, there are many things not everyone understands. i don't articulate these thoughts anymore. it's tiring trying to get someone to understand. mostly, it comes out warped/altered. i figured coping alone would be less tiring on everyone, myself included.

i hope to be able to smile and mean it. but no, not for now. i'm not down, neither am i pessimistic. there is nothing depressing going on. it's just.. there is nothing to be happy about at the moment. life's just... like that. great, now i'm self-contradictory since i just told Sharon just "there will always be things to smile for". but really, i think the major problem is that i'm too self-critical. ought to stop finding faults with myself, i know. hmm. we shall see. guess i'm too lethargic, my puny brian doesnt function as properly. now everything is regarded with apathy. apathy... i wonder if you remember. how ironical.

right now i'm listening to The Click Five's album Modern Minds and Pastimes. finally, there is time to sit down and listen to every song, every line. a tad too emo, but the songs are quite good. (constance! happy not?!)

anw, saw JIDAN on the way home earlier. wah laooooo. SHUAI CAN!!?? i like!!! awww i wanna see her photo from sentosa in sportsbra! chun li neighbour quick send it to me!

Youtube-ing.
i'm off!