Everything all jumbled together in no fashion
i figured might as well this, than nothing.
RIGHT?
ok here goes..
For some weird reason my blogger account has been changed to some weird language
but never mind i cant be bothered since i still know how to use
kuakuakua i kinda remember the page elements man.
i'm a smart ass!
well i'd say the past days has been a journey.
a journey in which i cant see my destination yet
not because it's too far off, but because i dunno my destination yet.
it's been an enriching experience lah, physically and psychologically
i use the word 'enriching' cus it's nicer
you get wad i mean lah huh
to be on the verge of losing what's most impt to you is not easy
you realise alot of things
acknowledge the stuff/ppl you've taken for granted all along
and promise yourself you'd be better
also, you start to sieve out the stuff/ppl you've spent too much attention/time on
and start to wonder if they are really worth it.
then you start to tink and tink and tink until your hair turn white and you die of... i dunno wad. wahahhaa okay ignore the last part.
yeah but tt's the main idea
i'm still in the midst of consideration. hmm.
i realise i've been too selfish.
too selfish and self-centred to ppl who really care abt me
jason. tommy. wei xian. sharlot. hmmm whoever else.
and yet. spent my time and energy on other stuff, or other ppl
who don really need me as much.
this is sensitive. hmm k shall stop here.
i received compliments about my new hairstyle
but so?
it's nothing to be joyous about
i'm glad short hair turned out okay
but the reason i cut it ain't a good one.
see it was, i would have cam-whored alr
but until now i don have any pictures of myself in the new haircut yet
but wahh my wallet got super big hole
spent a bomb on the hair
this month eat grass.
i wun talk abt family stuff here.
at least not in this post
a few days ago, i found out the reason why i've been rejecting every guy who comes along
the reason i give is always "feeling not right"
now i know why.
cus i've been wanting to find someone who makes me feel the way lester does- i've been waiting for him all along, i loved him all along.
it's totally impossible cus no one can ever make me feel the way he does.
and even when the person comes close, i'd recoil in disgust cus tt's lester's style
yepp i know this is wrong. it took me quite some time to come to terms with myself.
and now i will correct it.
it's entirely impossible between me and him
and also entirely impossible that there would be any guy who can replace him
so realistically, wad's the next best thing to do?
yepp u got it.
i hafta learn to unlove him in order to learn to love someone else.
it's like...
giving up something i've held so dear
he knows me more den anybody else. even buddies. even myself.
haha but yeapp.
now that i realise it, sth has to be done
he doesnt know, he doesnt know i love him; i haven told him yet
probably wun.
there is no point.
we will always be friends. always.
but when a certain spark between us is damaged, spoilt.
i cant continue pretending he is who he was and i am who i used to be.
no more fairytale for yiwen
hmm this is heavy.
time for sth light.
i heart the buddies. chuanmin. pris. sharon.
heart the guys too.
yeppp.
and everybody, everybody.
yiwen,
when nobody appreciates you, you appreciate yourself.
when no one is there to pick you up, you pick yourself up
hahaha got a mountain of work to conquer.
goodbye.
edit://i realise i got too personal in this post. i see how it goes. may remove it if i feel uncomfy. until then, it will be here
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