helplessness & a new friendship

The thing about having a public blog is hmm there are times when you cant get too personal. Emotional or blunt stuff, you gotta bring it across in a politically correct way. Sure you can just neglect the person's feelings and blog out his/her name for the world to see. But hey, what goes around comes around.

But i'd attempt today.

You know it sucks when you have to hurt someone whom u care about with your words. But i cant help it. I know those things i said were the last things he wanted to hear, but i said it anyway. I emphasized friendship and nothing else. Drawing lines, he taught me how to. I know he needs me now. I will always be there for him as a friend, a good one, nobody can ever replace him one-on-one like that. Yes he is this important to me. But i know i cant fill the gap of a girlfriend as and when he needs one. Look what happened months ago. Love, i'll always love him, but not in that kinda way anymore. It's over, the feeling will never return. So yea. I hurt him yesterday. aww this feeling stinks.

I don't understand. Why do we always have to helplessly be the ones who hold weapons to hurt the very people we care about. I'd die for him if i have to, this is how much i care about him, but it's not love in the romantic way. No more. He has to learn.

Since this is a relatively random post, i'd just blog about other random stuffs running past my puny brain.

It seems old friends are telling me I'm too occupied with new friends made that i have no time for them. I want to protest! that's so not true! Old friends are on my mind often. I just haven been meeting friends. I'm so sorry.

I think i owe u guys this. What have i been doing since the camp. Why no time meet you people. Awww feels like an interrogation! Grrrr.

Tingshu's been hospitalized and i've been visiting him. There. i knew it would come out sounding wrong. But err no, as of now, not what you guys think. Just friends. I like talking to him and oddly, i trust him. I know it's weird since i've only known him for a few days, but it's the unspoken faith. feels totally comfy. :)